


Like Deja Vu

by phantomthief_fee



Series: The Assistant [3]
Category: Bendy and the Ink Machine
Genre: Amputation, Deployed Sammy AU, F/M, I was inspired by the people on Tumblr and this happened, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, mentions of past trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-10 00:12:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12899853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantomthief_fee/pseuds/phantomthief_fee
Summary: When Sammy went was drafted off to war, everyone was worried. They all knew when he came back, he wouldn't be the same.





	Like Deja Vu

War had never been something that had sat particularly well with Cordelia. Anything involving violence scared her, especially after having seen the violence some people had committed during the Depression. When Sammy had been drafted, along with Norman and Wally, her heart sank. Roy wasn’t drafted himself because, as he’d said, ‘No one wants a freak in the army’, which was only half true. But that didn’t give her much comfort. Because the people who  _had_  been drafted, they were practically her family. Joey Drew Studios was her home away from home. It terrified her, the idea of some of them leaving and never coming back. Especially Sammy. She’d cried the day he’d been drafted. Susie too. The two of them had held one another, crying in Sammy’s office.

“I’ll be fine.” He’d told them. “Don’t get all upset.” But still, the second he left, she and Susie had devolved into quiet sobs. They knew there was nothing they could do to stop this. And so the three men had shipped off. Joey was forced to hire replacements to fill the positions, but it wasn’t the same. The music director was perfectly nice, nothing to complain about, even if he was rather less competent than Sammy. Susie pretty much took over running the music department, being the most senior employee still there. No one protested this. Susie knew what she was doing after all. Then she found out she was pregnant. Cordelia had first been ecstatic upon finding this out. Susie and Sammy were going to be parents! Then the excitement faded. What if Sammy didn’t come back? What if their child had to grow up without a father?

“He’s going to come back,” Susie said when Cordelia expressed her fears. “If he dies on me, I will personally go to Hell and drag his ass back to the land of the living. He’s not skipping out on me that easily.” Still, Cordelia could see the fear in the other woman’s eyes.

“You’re worrying too much,” Roy told her.

“I have every right to be worried.” She said, collapsing into a chair at the kitchen table. “It’s war! People die every day on the battlefield!”

“That’s not what you should be worried about.” Her brother paused in making dinner, studying his own face in the polished mirror in the corner. The burn scar had faded in the years since it had been inflicted, but the mottled white scar tissue still took up half his face, making sure no one ever forgot what had happened.

“He’ll come back.” Roy continued, turning his gaze back to the pot of pasta on the stove. “You don’t have to worry about that.”

“There’s a but, isn’t there?”

“He won’t be the same.”

Cordelia hadn’t even been born when their father had fought in, and returned from, the Great War. Roy had been a child, barely out of diapers, but he clearly remembered the day George Bell had walked back into the house. There had been a look in his eyes that hadn’t been there the last time Roy had seen his father. George Bell had been a loud and boisterous man prior to the war. He’d signed up out of some youthful bravado, leaving behind his wife and young son to play hero. He hadn’t been like that after he’d come back. He’d been quiet, practical, subdued. He’d taken a quiet government job and that had been that. George had died about a year back due to a respiratory infection developed from mustard gas. Their mother had followed shortly after.

“How…How different do you think he’ll be?” Cordelia asked.

“It depends,” Roy said. “But you’ll have to be ready for that.” Cordelia went quiet. Roy sighed to himself. He knew he shouldn’t have said that, but he wanted her to be prepared. He didn’t want her to be shocked when Sammy came back a changed man. But…He supposed they’d cross that bridge when they came to it.

“I didn’t mean to scare you.” He turned back to his sister.

“No, it’s okay.” Cordelia shook her head, running a hand through her hair. “I need to be ready.”

.

.

When the war was over, they got word that Wally, Norman, and Sammy were all coming home. Wally and Norman were the first two to arrive back at the studio. When Sammy wasn’t there, Cordelia felt her stomach twist in fear. They’d thrown a party and everything. Why wasn’t he there?

“Where’s Sammy?” Susie asked, trying to keep a smile on her face.

“Hospital,” Wally mumbled, handing Susie a letter. Susie scanned it before passing it to Cordelia.

_Dear Susiebell,_

_You’re probably worried because I didn’t show up to the big party. I know Joey’s throwing one for our return, don’t try to correct me. I’m fine, I promise. The doctors are just keeping me for observation at the hospital. Trust me, I’m not happy about it either. But I have to follow what the doctors say and all that. I’ll be home soon. I promise._

_Love,_

_Sammy_

_P.S. Tell Bell I’m not dead. She’ll probably panic too._

“He’s okay,” Cordelia whispered.

“What did the letter say?” Joey asked, sidling closer. He had a cup full of the god-awful punch they’d managed to make from a store punch mix. He was probably the only one who’d be drinking it.

“He’s at the hospital for observation. He said he’ll be home soon.” Susie’s smile still looked a tad forced.

“He said he wasn’t missing the birth of his kids for the world,” Norman assured her. “Come hell or high water he told me he was getting back here.”

“Mm.” Wally made a vague noise of agreement. There were dark circles under his eyes.

“Are you alright?” Cordelia asked, alleviating her own worry by worrying about someone else. “You look tired.”

“‘M fine, lil lady.” Wally smiled tiredly. “Just…haven’t been sleeping well. That’s all.”

“Ah, I see.” Cordelia nodded.

The rest of the welcome back party was very quiet. Most everyone remained worried about Sammy, and the other two were so unbelievably tired. Still, everyone was happy to have Norman and Wally back. They were glad their coworkers were back safe and sound. About a week later was when Sammy returned to the studio. Susie had been absent at that week, taking care of Sammy at home, but she reappeared at the party. Sammy and Norman were with her, with Norman pushed…a wheelchair. In that wheelchair was none other than Sammy Lawrence, one pant leg tied off at the knee.

“Welcome back, Sammy!” Her coworkers chorused. Sammy wouldn’t even look at them, his eyes trained on the floor. There was nothing in those eyes. No fire, no life. They were like the eyes of a doll. When she saw him, despondent in that wheelchair, she was back in that hospital room watching the nurse cut the bandages off Roy’s face. She could barely hear the voices of her coworkers as she went white and ran from the room. She tried to contain her sobs until she got to the bathroom, but ended up slumping against a wall bawling. She sat there for what felt like hours, crying until she couldn’t cry anymore.

“You alright?” She looked up to see Susie leaning against the wall beside her.

“You ran off the second you saw him,” Susie said, looking rather concerned. “What’s wrong?”

“Sorry.” Cordelia tried to get herself together. “I…It just gave me flashbacks to when Roy first got his scars.”

“Ah.” Susie sighed, a sympathetic smile crossing her face.

“I didn’t get to see him the day he got hurt. I was in school. I came home and both my parents were crying.” Cordelia stared at her feet, chewing on the inside of her cheek. “When we went to see him at the hospital his face was all bandaged up. Everything was bandaged up. He…He was so quiet. Things were different after that. Especially after the bandages came off.” Susie let her talk. She figured the girl needed to get some things off her chest.

“I like to call it the day my brother died.” Cordelia wiped away the remains of her tears. “It’s not too far off from the truth, actually. He’s never been the same after that. I mean, it’s not like his personality took a complete 180 or anything. He just got….subdued. He’s a lot quieter now.” She glanced back towards the room where they were holding the party. “Do you think that’ll happen to Sammy?” One of the reasons Roy had ‘died’ was because he couldn’t act or do stunt work anymore. The burn was the most prominent injury, the one everyone saw, so Cordelia always talked about that, but it hadn’t been the only injury Roy had sustained. His right leg had been crushed by a studio light as he’d flailed back from iron hitting him and the injury had never quite healed properly. He still walked with a limp. Cordelia didn’t know what had happened to Sammy, but she feared he would no longer be able to make music. Music was life. If he couldn’t do that…she didn’t know what would happen.

Susie pursed her lips, leaning against the wall beside her young coworker. “If I’m being honest,” she admitted. “I don’t know what’s going to happen now. He’s not the same person he was before, that’s for sure. I…I don’t know if anything will ever be the same.”

“That’s what I was afraid of.” Cordelia hugged her knees. She’d never done too terribly well with change. It was a fault of hers, one she knew she had to work on.

“This whole thing is pretty scary,” Susie said, leveraging herself down to the floor so that she was sitting beside Cordelia. “When he came home…It felt like I was looking at a stranger. He’s so thin I thought the wind might blow him over.” She could feel tears beginning to prick her eyes. “And his eyes…They always used to have some kind of fire in them.”

“But they look dead now.” Cordelia finished. “Like he’s lost hope in the world.”

“Something like that.” Susie nodded. Her hands rested on her belly, rubbing the outline of it. “He…They say he can’t form words either. Some kind of brain injury. He can’t do too much on his own, actually. Turns out Norman and Wally wrote the letter.”

“I guess they didn’t want us to worry.” Part of Cordelia wanted to be angry at Norman and Wally, but she couldn’t bring herself to feel that.

“They knew.” Susie set her lips in a thin line. “They knew when they came to the party and they didn’t tell me. I yelled at Norman about that.” She wiped away a few stray tears. “That was something I would have liked to know beforehand. Not when Norman wheeled him up to the house.” She took a few shaking breaths but was unable to stem the flow of tears. “I just don’t understand why no one told me.”

“Bureaucracy,” Cordelia replied almost on instinct. Susie looked at her in surprise, then started to giggle. The giggles quickly turned into full-blown laughter.

“Yes, bureaucracy.” Susie laughed. “Where did you learn to be so cynical?”

“Roy. And Sammy.” Cordelia couldn’t help but smile. “The bitterness is strong in my societal influences.”

“Come on, let’s get back.” Susie started trying to heave herself to her feet. “I’m sure Sammy’ll be glad to see you. He missed all of us.”

Cordelia started gnawing at her lip. “I don’t want to break down again.” Her voice was soft, unsure.

“It will be alright.” Susie patted Cordelia’s head. “We’re just going to have to adjust to this. It’ll be different, and it’ll be strange, but we can get through it. We’ll do it together.”

“Okay.” Cordelia got to her feet, dusting her skirt off. “Um, do you need some help getting back to the break room?”

“Psh, I’m fine.” Susie waved her hand dismissively. “I’m pregnant, not invalid.” She stopped at that, realizing what she’d said. “I…I’m fine. Let’s get back.” Cordelia nodded, following Susie tentatively back to the break room. Sammy was surrounded by their coworkers, with Wally and Norman sort of off to the side, talking to each other. Susie walked over, kissing Sammy on the head, before heading for the bathrooms. Cordelia waited a few moments before approaching Sammy.

“Um….Hi.” She waved nervously. “It’s…Uh…It’s been awhile, right?”

Sammy nodded curtly, his previously unfocused gaze sharpening as he took her in.  

“I know you’ve probably been hearing this a lot today, but…I missed  you.” She said, smiling softly. “The replacement music director was just awful. I mean, he was nice enough, but he had no idea what he was doing.” Sammy rolled his eyes, glancing pointedly at Joey. Cordelia couldn’t help but laugh a bit at this.

“Bastard.” He muttered. Somehow, she wasn’t surprised that was one of the few words he was still able to say.

“He was perfectly nice, though.”

Sammy gave her a look that indicated he didn’t care. Anything less than perfection in his music department wasn’t tolerated. Cordelia’s smile widened. It was almost as if things were normal again. But then someone pulled out one of those champagne poppers and everything changed. One of the other interns had bought some, despite Joey saying it was a bad idea. As soon as the popper was set off, Sammy, Norman, and Wally were hitting the deck, all of them with terrified looks in their eyes. Sammy literally threw himself out of his wheelchair. Susie returned just in time to see this happen, quickly rushing to Sammy’s side.

“What on Earth were you thinking?!” Joey stormed toward the poor intern.

“I- I didn’t know.” The intern stammered. “I was just trying to be festive. I’m sorry!” Henry went to go help Norman and Wally while Susie and Cordelia helped Sammy back into his chair. Cordelia was barely able to hold back tears. It  _was_  like Roy all over again. She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. She’d gotten through it once, she’d do it again. Steadying her trembling hands, she touched both Susie and Sammy’s hands.

“Are either of you thirsty?” She asked as if nothing had happened. She wasn’t going to treat Sammy like he was broken. That would only make things worse.

“I could go for a drink.” Susie nodded, smiling tiredly. Sammy nodded as well, holding Susie’s hand as though it were the only thing that could save him. Cordelia walked to the punch bowl, managing to keep herself calm and collected. Things wouldn’t be the same, but she’d be damned if she was going to let anyone suffer because of this. Things would be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this was inspired by the angst war on Tumblr between Scipunk63, Omsrandom, and Ask-JoeyDrewStudios. Disneyphantomlover also participated. After reading all their stuff, I wanted to write one of my own.


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